Washington, USA – Amid Delta and Omicron COVID variants continuing to pummel the United States, infecting thousands of people per day, US Republicans have expressed greater support for privatized healthcare.
Speaking to reporters Friday evening, Texas Senator Ted Cruz said he thinks the private healthcare system is doing a “fantastic job” of handling the global pandemic. This is despite the fact that even private facilities have been overrun with COVID patients, many of them unvaccinated. Cruz outlined that the more sicker the patients, the greater the cost, resulting in a net positive for the economy.
“The state is not responsible for the well being of its citizens. If they can’t afford healthcare, they can just get a better job. It’s really that simple. Take me for example, I used to be a loser when I was younger. Then, I figured out how to make money off of my loserdom and now I have amazing healthcare. Take your talents, and figure out a way to make money off it. It’s what I did and I could not be happier.”
-Ted Cruz, Republican Senator, Texas.
Ted Cruz is one of the most hated people in all of America. This was reaffirmed by Donald Trump during the 2016 elections when Trump, a bigger loser than Cruz, constantly reminded him of the degree to which Cruz exudes loserdom. Despite the insults, Cruz insists that Trump is an ally and friend.
When asked about Republican support potentially dwindling due to death, Cruz claimed he was not worried due to the the amount of dumb people all over the country. “We’re naturally going to lose a few votes due to this pandemic, but that’s really a short term loss. We’re a country that believes in the power of propaganda driven by lies and misinformation. So I’m not worried about the level of support for myself, or the GOP. We’re in pretty good shape.
A reporter asked Cruz if expanding universal healthcare would help in retaining his voters, Cruz became visibly irate at the thought. “Get out of here you fuckin’ communist. Get out of here with that shit! We’re bloody Americans, not commies!” yelled Cruz.
Ted Cruz is scheduled to have a testicle exam funded by tax payers with no out of pocket expense in Janurary of 2022.
Photo: Natilyn Hicks (Aubrey Hicks Photography) on Unsplash
