Ottawa, ON – The Canadian government unveiled a new passport design aimed at improving security and preventing counterfeiting.
However, some Canadians are upset at the new design, claiming the passport doesn’t reflect Canada’s achievements and history.
Bruce Bush, 58, who has only travelled outside the country once in his life, claims that the new passports erase the history of Canada by eliminating images of historical figures and monuments.
Bruce agreed to show us his passport. After 30 minutes of searching for it, he located it in a file cabinet deep in his basement. It had been expired for 32 years with stamps from one country, China – an entry stamp dated March 24, 1991, and a deportation stamp dated the same day.
“Yeah, I tried to go to China to find a wife there cuz’ I heard they like white guys there. But when I got there, nobody spoke English and I got pissed off at the airport staff, got into a scuffle with some of the security guards there and they ended up sending me back. Never again, I tell ya.”
Another Canadian, Larry, who didn’t want to give his last name, claimed that removing the Vimy Ridge monument, located in Givenchy-en-Gohelle, France as a tribute to Canadian soldiers who died in World War I, is an affront to the memory of Canadian veterans who have died to keep Canada safe and free. Larry has never owned a passport.
Upon further investigation, Satirica learned that Larry’s last name is Likhre, who was charged with public urination and defecation on a Canadian war memorial in Ottawa.
However, most reasonable Canadians have dismissed these concerns, saying that it’s just conservatives rage farming people against the government.
Photo by Jaimie Harmsen on Unsplash
