San Francisco, CA – In a series of leaks obtained by a janitor at Twitter Headquarters in California, Elon is encouraging OnlyFans content creators to make Nazi themed content that would retain existing right wing users, and attract new right wing users to the platform.
The janitor, who Satirica has chosen to keep anonymous, claims that he maintains the cleanliness of the floors where the handful of remaining marketing employees work between the hours of 12pm to 12am. He says that he’s been overhearing chatter as he vaccums the carpets that Elon Musk has been wanting to curate popular OnlyFans content creators, especially those who are known to be right wingers and Trump supporters, to develop specialized erotic content which directly alludes to Hitler and Nazi symbolism to post and advertise on Twitter.
The janitor also claims that he obtained a printed out email that was laying on the floor, from Musk to the development team consisting of one person, discussing how the strategy would be great for getting the 18-67 angry, right wing and fascist demographic to overtake twitter and drive out ‘the libs,’ while making the check mark that users need to purchase, a status symbol to their commitment to right wing politics – thus bringing in a continuous stream of much needed income.
“I saw this paper on the floor and I was about to put it in the recycling bin so that nobody would slip on it and hurt themselves. When I read it, it was saying right wing virgins and losers really love Hitler and OnlyFans girls so why not get the girls to get the losers horny enough by posting their pics on twitter. I kept the paper and hid it in my underwear.”
-Janitor at Twitter HQ
The janitor claims that he cleans Elon’s office often, and that it has a constant, musty smell coming out of there that won’t go away. “I’ve tried every carpet cleaner the budget will allow me to use and I still can’t get rid of it.”
Furthermore, the janitor claims that he has frequently found erotic pictures of women and transwomen with Hitler-eque mustaches as well as Donald Trump themed adult images.
Satirica has reached out to Elon Musk for comment but has not heard back. Other employees at Twitter refused to speak to Satirica on the matter, thus preventing us from verifying any of the claims by the anonymous janitor.
Photo by Alexander Shatov on Unsplash